Dreams

Photo of the sunrise over the foggy Wellington bay

I want to be a traveler. I want to speak four languages. I want to be a good programmer. I want to be an artist. I want to create, want to be a designer, a photographer and a movie maker. I want to read, want to be wise, want to have an opinion on important questions in life. I want to be a writer, an author, want to write a book. I want to be an actor, a stage performer, a good friend and someone who knows where he’s heading to in life. I want to be healthy, want to cook. I want to be an entrepreneur.

When I was a kid, I had dreams. Dreams of becoming something special in life. Without having an idea what exactly I wanted to be special at. I was told the good thing about successfully finishing school is that you can do whatever you want to do. And they were right.

Being at a point in life where you can do whatever you want to do is great. Still, I sometimes have the feeling I have to decide on what exactly to do, to decide on what to focus on. I am pretty sure the best way to be great at something, to excel at that, is to focus and concentrate. But I do not want to do that. I want the mix.

Actually, I already am most of the things I want to be, just not to the full amount. I am writing this, so I am a writer. I am in New Zealand at the moment, I’d count that as being a traveler. I love creating stuff, be it software, a collection of photos or a video. Still, I always need the mix. I love deeply diving into code I am writing, still I need to work on the design for that software as well so I feel good about my work. I like designing interfaces or just draw in my sketchbook, though not being particularly good at either.

This text might sound like it’s heading somewhere. Actually, it is not. That’s why I titled it “dreams” instead of “plans”. Life is full of beautiful possibilities, sometimes it just feels as if all of them seem equally appealing. For now I’ll just continue living my life of mixing everything together. Because let’s face it: Mixing everything together is the one thing I already am pretty good at.